Now allow me, dear Sam iAm, to rewrite YOUR vows........fourteen years later.
HIS VOWS (what he should have said, but didn't)
flower of my garden, spinach in my pie,
from this day on I will cover you in gifts, although you might have to return them because:
of the wrong size, the wrong color or just plain wrong ( don't worry, I will keep the receipts).
The only things I will never give you will be a dishwasher and a microwave.
I promise to be the wisest of the two, but also the hornier ( I will pay well).
I promise to expect a lot from you and to insist till you achieve it.
I will use reverse psychology and be the Devil's advocate.
I promise to tell you my deepest and darkest secrets and to dig until I uncover yours.
I will teach you to:
change a light bulb, tile a bathroom, hem a pair of pants, demolish and rebuild a wall, light up the barbecue.
You will get pregnant each time I will take my coat off and no matter how many children we will have they will all be girls.
I will tell you something else, they will all look just like me.
P.S. What he really told me fourteen years ago was: " I will fu......make love to you till you are eighty".
Who doesn't love a romantic man!
p.s. of the P.S. What about after I turn eighty?
Do I even get a microwave?