Sunday, July 14, 2013


A true friend will show up during your labour, in the delivery room, with champagne and trifle.
A true friend will call the anesthesiologist and threaten him if he doesn't deliver an epidural right away, weather you need it or not.
The same friend will come between you and the nurses at the time to insert the catheter and will stop them (only because she had a bad experience with it and she peed her pants for an entire year).
A real friend will offer to re-wash all the surgical instruments in the room, right there and then, just to make sure....
A real friend will offer to clean up the floor after the catheter was not inserted, for obvious reasons.
A true friend, once identified the doctor on call, she googles him and interviews him. When, and only when, she finds out they have friends in common, she will give the OK to proceed.
A true friend thinks she knows the sex of the baby before hand. Even against all evidence.
You will have to raise your fourth (and hopefully last) daughter as a boy, for the first two years of her life, just not to disappoint this friend.
A true friend already inebriate with alcohol and adrenaline, will record the final push and the first breath on camera, and then mail it to the wrong people.
A true friend will come up with placenta recipes while holding your placenta.
A true friend, exhausted and exhilarated, will finish your trifle right on the operating table (no placenta).
This true friend, if you have to give birth, is all yours.

First few seconds of life.

Dedicated to the 4 Fairygodmothers: Fauna, Flora, Merrywether and Lucy O'Dwyer who took this picture.

No comments:

Post a Comment